I got into the room about 7:45 and went through the usual of meeting the midwife etc and going through my booklet. They hooked me up to the machine to monitor both of the babies heart beats. They had a bit of a problem with them because they wasn't sure if the heartbeats were both of the babies or if it was just picking up the same one as they were so similar.

The contractions got stronger and I continued to have just gas and air, I knew I had to have an epidural but wasn't sure when they were going to give it to me. I didn't ask them as i assumed they would tell me.

I put my tens machine on which did help at the beginning and I was pretty lucky with this too, as the instructions state not to use prior to week 37. I don't think I could have mangaed as well without this. The contractions were starting to get really strong and I started to lose my focus. I was too busy focussing on the pain rather than my breathing, that it started to hurt too much. After 7 hours of gas and air and lots of contractions, I decided I couldn't take anymore and asked about the epidural. The midwife measured me and told me I was still only 2cms, 2cms I couldn't believe it, I thought having your second baby was supposed to be easier. Katie was born within 7 hours and didn't hurt half as much as this.

I tried standing up and wiggling and moving my hips, I couldn't walk about because I was hooked up to the damn machine which was monitoring my babies and I was still leaking. I couldn't even sit on the birthing ball, because I was leaking everywhere.

I was so disappointed with myself for asking for an epidural, I felt like I had let myself down, Paul was really positive and was really good, he was talking to me and was talking through the breathing with each contraction. I kept thinking I couldn't do it, and I was so angry with myself for thinking it instead of focussing on my breathing and that I was getting closer to meeting my babies.

Throughout the 7 hours, the midwife introduced me to a couple of doctors that would be coming in and out of the room throughout the birth and they discussed what would happen when I was ready to push and that there would be a number of people in the room with me because of the twins. She also explained about why I would need an epidural at some stage, and if I wanted to have it earlier I could.

The midwife wanted to attach something to twin ones head which I agreed to and she wanted me to lie on my back, that was a nightmare and hurt like hell. I hadn't been able to lie on my back for about the last 3 months even with pillows, now she wanted me to lie completely flat whilst having contractions - great!!

It seemed to take ages for the anathestist to arrive and gown up. He asked me to hunch my body over and push my back out and bring my knees in close - hello did someone not tell him I was having twins, could he not see how huge I was. Bend over, bend over, I could hardly bend down never mind bend over. Every time I bent over, I had a sudden urge to push, the midwife told me there was no way I needed to push, I was only 2cms, but I knew what my body was saying. It took ages (or seemed to take ages) for the anathestist to put in the epidural and when he finally got it in, he told me it would take another 20 mintues to work.

Finally, the epidural kicked in, my right leg had gone completely numb and kept falling off the bed, and I kept having to ask Paul to put it back on. Paul and I were both shattered as we hadn't had much sleep from the night before. It had started to take its toll on the both of us. I asked Paul if he wanted to go home and that I would ask them to ring him if anything happened as I was still 2cm dilated. He didn't want to, as tired as he was, he wanted to be there. I apologised to him for being weak and giving in on the epidural, I was so mad with myself, Paul wasn't bothered, all he cared about was how I was feeling and that we were all okay. He told me to stop beating myself up about it, it didn't matter.

I could hear other people having their babies and I was just willing mine to come along real soon. I was aching for a drink of diet coke and plenty of ice and what made it worse was an advert on the tv with a cider with loads of ice, my mouth was just watering. What I would have done for a large diet coke and a large glass of ice - delicious.

My contractions started to come back so they had to top up my epidural which made me pass out, so they had to give me something to bring me back round. I could hear them talking to me, but I just couldn't open my eyes or respond. That happened twice and Paul was pretty freaked out by it, he was really worried.

I was asked if I minded having a student midwife and student doctors, I said I didn't mind, lets face it what dignity do you have once you've given birth eh.

The student midwife Jo was lovely, she hadn't been to a twin pregnancy before so she was just as excited.

They had to bring in an old scan machine to make sure that they were monitoring each babies heart beat.

Although I had been leaking for the last few days, the midwife was certain that it had been my waters but they hadn't actually broke. She had to break my waters and had a real hard time with this and ended up calling for another midwife to help, eventually they broke my waters.

I didn't really sleep well, I kept nodding off and waking up as the blood pressure machine which I was hooked up to, kept taking my blood pressure at regular intervals, my dead leg kept falling off the edge of the bed, I started to get cold and the midwife bought both Paul and I a blanket.

Other birth experiences

Paul and I still hadn't finalised names for the babies, we agreed on girls but we still hadn't agreed on boys. I still wanted Noah which Paul hated, and we still couldn't decide on Lewis or Luke. I still said they were boys whilst Paul went with one of each sex. Who was right we will soon see.

Finally the midwife checked me and yes I was 10cm and was ready to push, suddenly the room filled with doctors, nurses, midwifes etc, there were 11 people in the room with Paul and I. Because I couldn't feel my contractions they were having to tell me when to push, I really focussed on my pushing as I was so excited to see my babies. At 9:00am our first baby was born. The midwife picked the baby up and said its a boy, I looked at Paul and he had tears in his eyes with a smile as wide as his face, I wanted to cry. They passed baby No 1 with no name to Paul. He bought him over and let me look at him and give him a kiss, he was beautiful.

I then had 3 doctors trying to turn baby no 2 which they did pretty quick and baby no 2 was born at 9:16am and we decided to name him Luke. They delivered Luke onto my stomach so I was able to see him immediately. Again, I looked at Paul and he was over the moon, 2 boys. He came over and kissed me. I was so tired and I could hardly keep my eyes open. After a few minutes, Paul came over to me and told me that Luke had a lump at the base of his back, he said Luke was okay but had this lump.

The doctors went over to Luke and I could hear them talking to Paul but I couldn't really hear what they were saying as I was drifting in and out of sleep. The placenta wasn't coming away, so they passed me twin no 1 to breastfeed to help the placenta come away but this didn't work.

It was about 11:00 now and the doctors said that Luke had Spina Bifida, I didn't really take this in, I didn't even know what it was. I could hear one of the doctors talking to Paul saying that Luke could be disabled, unable to walk or even brain damaged. I could see the worry on Paul's face, it was too much for me to take in, it was taking away the happy time of the birth away from us.

Within the next few minutes I was taken down to theatre to have the placenta removed manually - great I know. See I told you that us women have no dignity left when giving birth.

I was so tired by this time, that I was actually struggling to keep my eyes open, I even asked them in the theatre not to talk to me because I wanted to sleep. They were asking me about my babies and what I had named them. I answered their questions and then kept saying, please don't talk to me I want to go to sleep. The doctor who removed the placenta said, "so you gave birth to the twins naturally, you must have very good supple skin", to which I replied "well that's a really nice way of putting it, but I'm sure other people will say something else" which got a real good giggle from the staff in the room.

Finally I was wheeled back into the delivery room and Paul and the babies weren't there, I was worried now and I started to think about little Luke, what the hell was Spina Bifida, how big was this lump, where were they. Within a couple of minutes, they bought twin No 1 back into me and just behind Paul came in with Luke.

Paul had taken Luke for a scan on his back and his brain. Luckily the brain scan went well and there were no signs of concern. They looked at his back and they said that Luke had got Spina Bifida and that it wasn't urgent. I looked at Paul and started to cry, what was supposed to be a really happy day, which it was was tinted with the news of Luke. We didn't know what it meant for our little boy, he looked so perfect.

The midwifes came in to have a peek at the boys and told me how well we had all done and how beautiful the boys were.

Eventually the doctor / specialist came in with about 4 other people to talk to us about Luke, he said that he felt it was a mild form of Spina Bifida and that the lump at the base of his spine was covered with skin which was good news. They wasn't sure what was in the lump and that we would have to have further tests. They discussed what Spina Bifida was, but I just couldn't take it in. They asked us if we had any questions, I couldn't think of any, its not the sort of thing you want to think about when you've just given birth. He told us he would come and see us the next morning so that we could come to terms with it and to think about any questions that we had.

I held Luke in my arms, how could this perfect little baby have Spina Bifida. I knew nothing about the condition, nor did I want to. I couldn't believe how happy I was for my little boys, yet I kept breaking down when I looked at Luke's perfect little face.

Paul and I talked about what we were going to name twin no 1, Paul said he really didn't want Noah, so I suggested Jamie which he still wasn't keen on but he agreed to give in. So we called twin No 1 who weighed in at 5lb 14oz Jamie Noah and twin no 2 who weighed in at 6lb 02oz Luke Kenneth (Kenneth was Paul's dads name).

Both boys were just so beautiful, but then I would say that I'm there mummy - but have a look at the photos and see for yourself.

Both my mum and Paul's mum came up to see the boys and Katie came along too. They were all so excited and loved holding the babies. I think it was a lot for Katie to take in and everyone was asking her what it was like to see her little brothers.

I had to stay in hospital for two days because of having the placenta manually removed, I had to have a catheta fitted which had to be left in place for 24 hours. I so wanted to go home.

The babies didn't take to the breast so I had to hand express which I hadn't done before, and unfortunately, the midwife hadn't picked up that I was doing it incorrectly and ended up making myself extremely sore. They woke me up every three hours to feed the babies, even though they were asleep. They called them the pethedine babies because they were always asleep.

Tips on breastfeeding

Paul had been up all night on Wednesday on the internet looking up information on Spina Bifida and he had bought it into the hospital and wanted to talk about it. I still hadn't come to terms with it and tried to avoid the subject. I didn't want to deal with it until we were fully aware of all the facts. Paul had found some positive information, but along with it was some information I really didn't want to read. The first line said "there is no cure for Spina Bifida", I just couldn't read anymore.

The specialist came to see us again on the Thursday and basically went over what they had already told us, they were going to refer us to the Queens Medical Centre at Nottingham and we would have a MRI scan to determine what was actually in the lump, whether it be nerve endings or just spinal fluid. He gave us some information for us to read, and although I read it, I still couldn't take it in.

The carpet was due to be laid on Thursday and they rang us to say that they were stuck on a job and wouldn't be able to get to us till Friday, so my mother in law rang them and said no way it needed to be done that day as I was due to come home Friday. So Paul had to go home early Thursday evening to clear the front room of all the furniture and the old carpets. They arrived at around 7:30 that evening and didn't leave until 9:30 and then Paul had to bring the furniture back into the room he was shattered bless him.

Well on Friday 05 November they allowed me to go home and I couldn't wait. I wanted to be in the comfort of my own home and be with my boys and my little girl. Katie was really excited to see us and has taken to the boys so well. I'm so proud of her.

I wanted to check my emails and Paul came over to me and held me close and we both just cried about Luke. Paul is really worried that Luke isn't going to be able to walk and do things like Jamie. I'm worried about that too, but I have tried not to think about that until we know what we are dealing with. I don't want the Spina Bifida to tint or ruin our special time with Luke or Jamie so for now I have decided that Im not going to let it upset me too much and to enjoy my beautiful little boys.

We have an early night on Friday and the boys didn't have a good night, we were up most of the night and what made it worse was the fact that because I was so sore, I found it really hard to breast feed the boys. My nipples were starting to bleed so I found it extremely difficult. I tried to count to 50 when they latched on, but I was so tense which then made the boys suck harder - a no win situation.

Saturday morning arrived and I was dreading feeding the boys again, especially after such a bad night. I tried to feed them, but it was just far too painful, Paul ended up going to Asda at 7:30 in the morning to fetch some formula. I needed a break from the breast feeding until the soreness had gone.

We decided that we wasn't going to have any visitors on Saturday and that we would just relax and have a lazy day with our new family. Unfortunately, our visitors had other ideas and we were bombarded with visitors that day. Paul and I were worn out so we decided to have another early night. Again, the boys didn't sleep well, we couldn't believe it they had slept so well in the day.

Sunday morning, I rang my mum and asked if we could go to hers for dinner, I really couldn't handle any more visitors we were so tired. So we went off to my mums and mum and dad looked after us for the day. Paul and I couldn't stay awake and dad suggested we go and lie down in their room for a couple of hours. We didn't take them up on it as I felt guilty leaving them to look after 3 children.

We came home later on and again had an early night. This time we had a really good nights sleep. I still wasn't breast feeding as I was still to sore, but tomorrow was another day and I was hoping to put the weekend behind me and start breastfeeding or expressing. So here is where I sign off and will bring you up to date on the boys and how we are all doing.

Tips on breastfeeding

If you would like to share your pregnancy experiences please email the site at contributions@forparentsbyparents.co.uk.