Finally, my last week at work and boy am I looking forward to breaking up. I really didn't think I would, but I am so tired and worn out that I can't wait. I've got 6 weeks to wait before meeting my beautiful babies and I can't wait.

When I look back, I really can't believe how fast the time has flown, but I just know these last few weeks will seem ages.

Katie has made the top 20 finalists in her kids on camera in her section so I only have to wait for Saturday to find out. I don't care how she does, I know she is beautiful.

This week has been pretty hard and really tiring, I've been bringing work home to try and get as much finished as I can. Taking Katie to school is becoming really tiring too - I don't feel I have the energy to walk to and from school.Katie was supposed to go for tea this week, but I had to cancel it because of work committments, I feel pretty bad about it, but I really do need to get things sorted at work. I didn't manage to get everything done so I ended up bringing some things home to finish off in my own time so I will get on with those next week.

My last day at work was pretty emotional, although I didn't end up crying but I did have to stop myself. I couldn't believe what they did, my desk was beautfiully decorated with balloons and baby things, and around lunchtime I had a presentation, where I was presented with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, two baby outfits from mothercare, a teddy each for both of the babies also from mothercare, £30.00 in cash and £50.00 in mothercare vouchers, I also got two sets of tops and an Elizabeth Arden set. Then a few of us went for lunch at a nearby pub. I felt so lucky to have such good friends / colleagues from work.

I've not been sleeping well at all this week, I feel really heavy and my stomach is really tight and I'm getting up nearly every hour or so to go to the toilet or my heartburn wakes me up - I feel like I'm eating about 10 rennies just throughout the night. I've been using my relaxation cd which works well in getting to sleep, but its the staying asleep thats the problem. I'm lying on my left hand side, but after a few hours, the very top of my thigh/pelvis aches so much that I have to lie on my right hand side and that is really not comfortable. I've now got 6 pillows to try and prop me up but its really not working and I'm finding myself wanting it to be morning before I've even gone to sleep.

I've also started itching like mad, I feel like I've got fleas, even though I know its only my skin stretching, but its driving me mad. I wake up to go to the toilet and find myself scratching my stomach for about 20 minutes and then it makes me itch all over - its drving me potty so I'm going to ring the midwife on Monday.

I've also started to worry more about money as this month will be my last month of full pay, I'm really dreading it and that's not helping as its on my mind at night. I'm also putting off doing things that are important as I can't get motivated to do it, I don't know why, that is definately not like me - I feel like I'm burying my head in the sand and although its annoying me I just can't seem to be bothered to do it. I'm also finding that because I'm not sleeping so well with 101 things running round my head at night, that I have little or no tolerance and the slightest things makes me bite at Paul and Katie. I then feel really guilty about it and end up having to say sorry all the time and then telling Katie how much I love her and that mummy is tired. Its not a lot, but its too often for me.

This pregnancy has been a lot harder than when I was pregnant with Katie, Katie's was a breeze from the start to the end and even now with her, she has her moments like all children, but overall she is so good sometimes you hardly know you have her - other than her constant talking, boy can she talk, I'm sure that when the twins are born - she'll talk so much to them, that they'll be talking by the time their one - well that's if they can get a word in edgeways!!

Our decorator is coming in a couple of weeks and we picked the carpet this week, which should hopefully be fitted within the next two weeks too, so all that will be left to do in this room is to buy some new furniture but there's not too much rush for that.

I've still got to purchase a new car seat for one of the babies, the footmuffs and head supports for the Nipper. I'm hoping to get them in the next couple of weeks too.

In some ways, mainly due to the uncomfortable sleeping, I would like them to be here, but I love to feel them moving around in my stomach and watch my stomach doing lots of flipping and moving, but I want them to stay in for as long as they can, especially over the next couple of weeks. I would like to get to 37 weeks before they are born, the longer they are in my stomach, the better it is for them. Although I have to say, I have had lots of twinges, sometimes I think - is this it and then it goes.

Paul's mum wants to come to the hospital with us, she is not coming into the delivery suite as the only person I really want there is Paul, I would like Katie there too but I think it just might be a little too much for her to deal with and I don't want to frighten her if she sees mummy in pain. Paul's mum is happy to wait outside until they are born, so our friends have agreed to look after Katie for us when we go in. I could leave her with my parents, but they live a good 25 minute drive from our house and our friends only live around the corner so it would be easier for us, I just hope they are available when the time comes.

Katie didn't win the competition but who cares, I got some beautiful pictures of her for a reasonable price so I am really pleased and like I said, I know she is beautiful.

Well I really need to pull my socks up and get cracking with things. I'm off to a breastfeeding group on Monday with a friend. It's her first baby and normally I wouldn't have gone as I breastfed with Katie, but I would like some really good tips for breastfeeding twins. Everyone thinks I am mad for wanting to breastfeed the twins, but I want them to have the best start like I did with Katie. I'm really not sure how difficult it's going to be or whether I am going to be able to do it, but that's why I've bought the breastpump, because if I do struggle, I am hoping to express so that they can still have the benefits of breastmilk.

I breastfed Katie and found it to be really easy, my only down side was the amount of time spent feeding her and she always seemed to be hungry. I breastfed her for 3 months and then transferred her to bottle which she seemed more content with, but I also went back to work after 3 months and I always felt pressured to hurry up so maybe that had something to do with it. This time I won't have that, but I've just got to relax and not worry about house work not being done and putting other pressures on myself.

I suppose if I've got a lot of support and help from friends and family, like my mum offering to do the ironing might just help me relax a little more and not feel like I've got to rush them or myself. If I can get a lot done before they are born, I will feel much better so next week I really need to crack on with things - so I will let you know how I get on.

Take care and see you all next week.

Take care

Anita

In the Womb - view at 25 weeks

If you are keen to follow your babies growth buy the dvd In The Womb which gives you fantastic imagery of how your baby looks at stages throughout your pregnancy.

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