After falling pregnant one New Years eve, entirely planned of course, we had a long and drawn out birth and finally a c-section, because Charlie was posterior and had to be induced. This was all back in 2002. Despite all the drugs and lack of sleep we were elated after he was born. We MADE this little person, how amazing! What followed was a colicky baby - not surprising after that birth, sore boobs, short-lived postnatal depression, back problems and a general struggle to go back to work - I went back too soon, as many women do. It is not much fun coping with sleepless nights and all the demands of a growing baby boy and trying to fit in 25 hours of in-depth project and development work. And of course there are the other things that no one tells you about before you have a baby, that is, the worry and the constant changing of plans, especially when your child is ill for any reason. Eventually, with the help of pilates and some expensive back therapy I managed to turn my physical state around (I gave up on the NHS after a long wait for a scan). Our little boy grew more wonderful and challenging every day and, as it does, life became easier after about the first 18 months. What kept me going was the support of my NCT anti-natal group, who, with the advantage of having one good organiser amongst our gang, met every week once once everyone had finally popped out their babies. Everyone had different experiences, births, colic versus no colic, sleep versus no sleep, health problems versus no health problems, but we all had some worries and shared the same challenges. This life line was truly a gift and still now we meet, despite distances and changes in circumstances, and we all know that we share a really special bond.

More recently we moved house. We always dreamed of living further away from the city and finally realised our dream last year, when we eventually sold our house near Watford and moved to rural Northamptonshire. The house is perfect - large, safe garden, enough bedrooms to run a small hotel, and plenty of 70's-style blue swirl carpets and antiquated heating systems that must have been the latest gadget in 1975! Moving to a small village has its pros and cons and quite amusing side - if you speak to the wrong people when you arrive you could end up being saddled with the local swingers popping round for coffee every five minutes! What I did not realise is that you have to get in a car to go anywhere, so consequently you don't walk as much. There's not the same excuse to go for a walk to get some bread, milk, or a video. I miss blockbusters being on my doorstep, that's for sure! And no one tells you that villages go into hibernation in winter! You don't see anyone and no one sees you. It's too cold or wet to go out.

The biggest challenge has been juggling work and a family. Fortunately, trying to get some part time freelance work in a new area finally drew dividends within a few months of arriving at our current abode. However, working from home part time means you have the best and worst of both worlds. You can feel as though you are a person in your own right through your work and enjoy using your brain. At the same time you have the strain of fitting in running a pre-school child to nursery every day and having to break off your work when you've just got into something to go and pick him up. The up side is that you get to mingle with other mums, do the rounds of 'come round for coffee and let the kids play', pick up tips on discipline and where to buy the best sunscreen for kids. The flip side is that you also get roped into things as you are viewed as someone who isn't entirely busy! I am talking here about the local playgroup committee which you innocently volunteer for in the first instance, not knowing what is to come... And before you know it you find yourself immersed in organising Christmas Fairs and a whole dollop of pre-school politics.

This new lifestyle in the country is not easy to sustain, despite being able to pick the hours that I work, which is a great bonus. Unfortunately my husband is also a freelancer, in the fickle world of marketing and fashion. We've even taken in a lodger, albeit my footie-mad brother who needs digs midweek in this neck of the woods, and, with help of our marvellouslly practical and supportive parents and friends, we have created a self-contained bedsit to let - all in an effort to make the house work for us. we even did B&B for the Silverstone Grand Prix but one couple didn't even show up! As my freelance work is thin on the ground, I may soon have to get a proper nine to five job to pay the bills and that means more childcare. I do hope I will still have time for Ippimail as it is our other 'baby' and it would be lovely to see it grow and be successful, not only for ourselves but for the charities and companies that have so kindly supported us. Our mortgage is too scary to write about and the cost of living in the country is not as reasonable as some might think. Thank goodness for the NCT House swap register for cheap and easy holidays! However, despite the sleepless night worrying about money, whether we will have to move, if we will ever feel able to take the leap of having another child or whether to look into adopting another in such uncertain circumstances, it is worth it and we keep going. I know it is so when I wake up - correction, when I am woken by my 3 year old, open the curtains and see the farmland adjacent to our home, hear the sheep and breathe in the fresh air. Never mind the hay fever, horses on the main road when you are late going to nursery, the rotten winters and the cliques, it is increasingly feeling like home, often transporting me back to my own village days growing up in the Yorkshire Dales, when things were a whole lot less complicated...

Lorraine