Note: The Department of Health recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. If you would like help in coping with difficulties like these, please see our Support Links.

I was determined to breastfeed my son for 6 months before returning to work as, having read a heap of books and gone to all the classes, I knew this was the best start I could give my baby. I was in labour for 16 hours when he eventually made his entrance by ventouse delivery. He was very tender and bruised around the head on one side, so did not like being handled much (which doesn't help when you're trying to figure out positioning!!). When I tried on my own in the hospital to get him latched on I would fail dismally and ring for a midwife who would come and help. But I was never shown how they managed this and felt totally thick. After 4 days I left hospital and carried on for 3 weeks at home trying top breastfeed. Sometime it would take an hour to get him latched on (then he'd feed no problem) but it meant I was spending most of my time with my boob in his mouth. I was exhausted frustrated and determined to keep going. He was a big baby when born 9lbs 1oz, and took him ages to regain birthweight. So much so that the HV scared me into introducing a top-up feed of 3ozs of formula after the breastmilk. The formula recommended did not suit so we had a sickly baby with reflux problems for a whole week. He'd drink the 3ozs refuse the breast and then get sick about 10 minutes later. I eventually changed to a different formula (at this stage my milk was dwindling and he didn't like the idea of working for the food, when he just got it so easily from a bottle. We never looked back - but I resent that the information the HV gave me about my son's weight was from charts based on bottlefed babies. As a first-timer I was reliant on help from others and did not have the courage to go with my gut instinct.

By the time we moved to formula we had actually (I feel) made progress on the breastfeeding front, but we felt bullied into going on to formula because of the centile charts. I am 20 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I will breastfeed again, and this time I will not listen to the HV. If the government are pro-breast then they should make sure the information is accurate available and have the necessary support systems in place!!!

Dee

This is one mum's story when breastfeeding did not work for her or her baby!

"There are a couple of points on breastfeeding which I feel are not represented by magazines and other sources including Health visitors and midwives. These are points which I feel new mums and mums to be should be aware of!

I found that the ante-natal information you are given on feeding your baby is incredibly biased towards breast feeding. Whilst I agree that this is best for baby I believe that you are made to feel somehow inadequate if you choose to bottle feed and the information on this option is lacking.

Also on this point, you are not informed that your baby may not like to breast feed and you are therefore made to feel rejected by your baby, especially with all those hormones flying around. This is my experience which I would like to share:

My baby was born with alot of mucus in her mouth and nose and did not latch on immediately, and as she was born in the early hours the midwives at the hospital said I should try again after a few hours, morning came and we tried again, but she would not latch on correctly and if she did she would only have a couple of sucks and stop. Obviously my baby was crying alot and hungry. The midwives seemed unconcerned so I tried not to worry, but that night in hospital the midwives tried all night to get her latched on using all the tricks up their sleeves and the same things happened - she would latch on, have a couple of sucks then move her head back so only the end of my nipple was in her mouth, then after a while she would just pull away and cry.

When I went home it got slightly better and she had a couple of long feeds, but I had to endure her feeding from the end of my nipple, she just would not take the whole of the aureole in her mouth. After a few days of screaming and fighting at trying to latch her on (including very patient midwives who became very impatient!) I sent my husband out to get formula as she was hungry and her mouth was dry... I then expressed what I could but she still preferred formula milk to breast milk which both the midwives and myself found unusual.

The result of this was psychologically very difficult - why would my baby not latch on? why didn't she like my milk? what was so wrong with me that I could not feed my baby?? I felt incredibly let down that I couldn't breastfeed and as the midwives/health visitors promote only this you are left feeling both rejected by your baby and my the people who are there to support you.

She is a healthy 4 month old now who is getting very interested in our eating habits and I'm sure will be weaning before too long..so I have no regrets about bottle feeding and can happily talk about the benefits of this to anyone.

Benefits

• You know how much food your baby is getting;



• Your baby will sleep for longer periods;



• If you were embarrased about feeding in public you can bottle feed anywhere;



• Most places have bottle warming facilities, not everywhere has breastfeeding facilities;



• Your nipples don't get sore!"

Lisa

I really sympathise with your stories, but want to say don't give up the thought of breastfeeding if you have more babies. My first was by emergency c section in Germany; he was taken to their nursery, given fennel tea in a bottle and a dummy! No wonder he didn't want to breastfeed! 8 years later I have had another child and kept a really open mind this time (despite constant questioning from my midwife about how I intended to feed). This time I had a natural delivery, she latched on straight away and we haven't looked back. It really doesn't matter how you feed your baby as long as you are happy and it works for you both. But if it didn't work first time - don't close your mind to the possibility of doing it again.

My daughter is now 8 weeks old and thriving. Immediately after my c-section, whilst in the recovery room, Lucy latched on like a little calf; my fears and inhibitions about breast feeding seemed unfounded. I had been unconvined about breast feeding and only gave it a try based on the health benefits for both Lucy and Myself.

It really went downhill from there on - it wasn't a case of not supplying enough milk, to be fair I was like a dairy cow. Lucy seemed to know what to do, but on occasions just wanted to play! Unfortunately those occasions were through the night, every feed, every couple of hours.

The midwife came out on more than one occasion, and continually applied the pressure to carry on. A couple of my friends suggested expressing and they took me out to purchase a breast pump - elation finally! I moved from breast feeding to expressing which lasted about a week due to the sheer time it required. By which time the health care professionals had instilled upon me the requirement to breastfeed. I decided for my sanity and in order to help me bond with Lucy that I had to stop feeding her, and thus developed my relationship with formula!

I know the benefits of feeding yourself, but if this is creating a rift in the family unit surely the health care professionals should get off their soap boxes and see their way to supporting the family unit and not the government's agenda."