Choosing the right time to have a second baby is a very personal decision. There are lots of pros (and just as many cons!) to having your children close together. If you ask any group of parents you're likely to find that they'll be equally split between having children close together and spacing births apart.

Babies that are born together might play more easily and be more friendly with each other when they get a little older and some people believe that having a succession of children close together means that the family is better equipped and prepared for having children emotionally and practically.

I know from my own experience (our first daughter Rosie was only 16 months old when our second daughter, Ellen, arrived) that we felt more able to cope with a new-born again as it had only been a short time since we'd had Rosie. We hadn't put away a lot of the baby things so it was easy to organise for the new arrival and we found that we didn't need to buy a lot of extra items.

We also found that because Rosie was so young when Ellen arrived, she seemed to take it for granted that Ellen was now part of the family and life just carried on as normal (well as normal as it can be with a toddler and a new-born in the house!) Rosie was too young to crave attention and throw tantrums at that stage, so it made life a lot easier. Of course it was extremely hard at the beginning; things like trying to breastfeed Ellen while entertaining Rosie at the same time were quite a feat. I amazed myself by managing to wander around the house with Ellen latched on, cradled in one arm, while I did small tasks with the other. Ellen didn't seem to mind and fed very well. It's a good job we women are good at multitasking! It wasn't long before we settled into our own routine and ways of doing things. You do tend to 'find your own way' when you've got two little ones to deal with.

On the other hand, you may find that having children close together will mean that both will miss out on individual care. I can relate to this somewhat. When you have one child, you can give them 100% attention, but when you have two, it's quite different. Logically you assume that they'd get 50% attention each, but this isn't the case because both children have different needs. There's not enough time in the day to give either of them the attention that they need and you just have to do the best you can.

Another thing to think about is that if you have two babies within a short timescale, then there might not be enough time between each episode of concentrated babycare for you and your partner to focus on each other and the other aspects of your lives. It could be said that it's better for your emotional well being to wait a little longer before trying for a second child. Alternatively, you may find that if you get you babycare 'out of the way' sooner, you can move into a more settled way of life and that will give you the opportunity to enjoy each other and your young family.

However you weigh things up there's never a 'right' time to have a second baby. Ask any mother and she'll tell you that life is certainly very challenging with two children, whatever the age gap. But whether you decide to have your babies close together, or leave a longer gap between children, you'll probably know when the right time is for YOU! And once your second baby comes along you'll find it hard to remember what life was like with one! Life goes on, as they say… and we all get carried along with it, however hard we struggle against the tide. In my experience things always work out some way or another.

For more information about the National Childbirth Trust visit their web site at www.nctpregancyandbabycare.com

Your views and comments

I have a daughter 20 months old and am now concidering having a second child I think you know when the times right to be honest!

Stacey

I think you should have another baby when you feel is the right time I am just pregnant with my second my first is 22mths and will be 2 1/2 when new baby is born

Tasha

I want another baby, my baby is 6 months old and I want to get it all out of the way so I can enjoy my family with my partner. Do you think its too soon?

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