Much is written on sleepless nights and teething, but I think the most underestimated 'phase' in terms of parental frustration has got to be potty training.

You may be blessed with a child (and I have met a couple) who apparently miraculously trained themselves overnight at some ludicrously early age…but if you are like most of us, be prepared for a really (and I mean really) long haul.

None of the books I have read prepare you for the fact this process really will take months and months. You may think you have cracked it one week only for this victory to be seized from your grasp by the vision of yet another sagging gusset the next day! Trust me, this process will infuriate you beyond your wildest imagination.

I have tried various approaches over the last 6 months, the gentle encouragement, the 'I don't care if you don't care' methodology, bullying, and despair (trying to appeal to my toddler's better nature) but to be honest none have really worked.

I am now sad to say that I have resorted to bribery. We have a 'Star chart' which dutifully records our successes and failures. 5 'poo free pant days' and my daughter will be getting the shopping till of her dreams. What a sad, capitalist world we live in!! I am disheartened that we have 'come to this', but a woman has her breaking point and I have seen enough poo in enough knickers to last at least one complete lifetime.

I look back and wonder what could I have done different. I didn't start too early (after 2nd birthday), tried a routine of potty introduction, same time each day, didn't push it, until despair set in. The only real solution I can find is that this process really does seems truncated if you are training a sibling. The number of second/third etc children that have embraced the potty training ethos in double quick time makes me think this is the way forward.

However, after this first experience it sort of makes you wonder if you want to trust the theory on a second!!

P.S - I am reliably informed by ALL mums I meet that all toddlers do get there in the end, it might be at 2, it might be at 2 and a half, it might be at 3 or even beyond their 3rd birthday. While I am not totally convinced by this at the moment, I am prepared to accept that one day it will happen and look forward to that week of quiet jubilation…

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