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To the Loo!

Toilet training can be a confusing time for toddlers, yet it's a vital part of the toddler experience. we all need to be toilet trained and it takes time, patience and lots of hugs on mum and dad's part. It needn't be a time full of tears and tantrums and it's so important for you as a parent to have a relaxed and supportive attitude towards your child's move from nappies to potties to the grown-up toilet. If you make your child anxious or reproach them during the toilet training process, they will find it harder and more upsetting to learn this new process. Remember - it's not a competition, and each child will learn at their own pace.

Your child should be between 18 months and three years old for toilet training - any younger than 18 months and they are still unable to recognise the urge to empty their bowels and bladder. Some children start saying that they hate wearing nappies and try to remove them - this, along with an increased period of time between nappy changes, is a good sign that he or she is ready to start. Begin by letting your child watch you on the toilet. It might seem a bit embarrassing, but we all know that children learn by watching and copying. You want the toilet to seem as normal and easy an activity as possible. Explain what you're doing as your child watches you. Do this regularly and it becomes a good base for teaching baby to do it itself.

During this time you should choose a consistent set of toileting words to use and explain that when your toddler learns to go to the toilet, they won't have to wear nappies anymore - this can be a good motivating factor.

You can either start your child on the potty or transfer them straight to the toilet. It depends on your child - if they're scared of the toilet, and a lot of children are, start with a potty. Of course, this also has the advantage of being portable around the house and during trips out. If you use the toilet, remember to buy a step and a smaller seat to fit inside the existing toilet seat.

You'll need to start encouraging your child to tell you when they need the toilet so that you can go together. Whatever you do, don't make them sit on the toilet or potty for hours, dress them in clothes they can easily manage (avoid zips in favour of elasticated waistbands) and remember that you will have to wipe for them at first, as well as teaching them the importance of washing their hands. Throughout the process remember there will be lots of accidents and wet patches - even if you begin to feel frustrated, be understanding and encouraging at all times and offer lots of hugs and supportive, positive words. When the process is done, you might even want to draw an award certificate for your child!

Some children revert to soiling themselves after toilet training if something traumatic happens - for example, starting nursery, moving house or acquiring a new sibling. This is not unusual and on no account should you scold your child for doing so. They are probably a little upset and confused anyway. Just take some time to go over the toilet training process again until your child has it secured in their mind once more.

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